Friday, December 18, 2009

The 13th of Never

I wasn’t being fair actually, truth is - love is still that many splendor thing. I have been there and I know. It’s beautiful. It is exactly like what they say – higher than the mountain, deeper than the ocean. So go for it! I guess my emotional intelligence (if there was any..) must be showing zero on the scale when I wrote my 13th of Never. It was the tension between skepticism and reality actually – I’m still skeptical about eternal, undying, irrevocable love (more into not believing)… but the world is still full of people believing and looking for love and finding them!. Being in the real world and sharing the same space, collision is simply inevitable and when skepticism and reality collided, you get totally deep and clueless..(as I am now ..). I really thought it was safe to go back into the water again but as soon as I took the dip, I realized that things are still the same, dang!. I’m still hurting the people that I love - the very thing that make me walk away from love, once before. I don’t want anyone to get hurt anymore. No mas!! I guess, love in totality is simply not for me. I’m still very repulsive to the line of questioning, without which accountability and responsibility to your partner are reduced to frustrations and hurts. I know there are lot of things wrong in me that need fixing but..arrggh! In the meantime –Just don’t get tangled up with me. You my fren, are much too precious.



Dizz, nanti kalo nak call, sms dulu K. Boleh la I telan ubat tahan tido. =))

Anis – come out and play, kucing dah xde.



Currently wishing for:
Nikki of Malaysian Idol 1

By Zulkifli Zain aka Dot aka Town’sThief
Release date: Sept.16, 2005

Tipon kat opis...

oO O I wonder if I have used 'this' b4..

I dont normally come in here on Saturday..dulu mmg selalu until somebody said I need a life.. (sedap jari jer dorang tu..). Tapi arini kena masuk jugak sebab nak kasi tau..fon i ada kat opis (but i takde sana..)

Farm..I nyanyi happy birthday kat anak u sini jer la...boleh? Happy Birthday to you...happy birthday to youooo..happy birthday to anak farmmm, happy birthday to you...( and on behalf of Myspace and Myangels..Happy Birthday to you.....(claps! claps! claps).

Pie, kalo u ada call I...monday nanti I call u balik eh. Malas nak gi opis amik tipon. Semalam dalam kelam kabut - tpon tertinggal kat opis (ker dlm kete my sis..??

Something triggered my mind today..and it brings me to 'Sliding Door'..a movie by Paltrow..yup Gwyneth Paltrow. It was about parallel life ( ker parallel world.). Could I be experiencing the same thing here...nvr mind I'l write about that later..but it's kinda spooky u know..arini masuk nak tulis pasal tipon jer.

Eh..anis mana eh? masih ilang lagi..? Dizz...kalo u nak gossipkan i ngan arielle..I relakan jer ..Pie, monday K. Beeeeeeeeeeee ))))))))). Lilot, u dah sampai sini..tak call I, how to memamdu asmara camni..

Mintak maaf..

Tak lama lagi puasa...and then raya. This morning a fren passed away, ada liver problem..met him last, abt 2 weeks ago. Mata dah kuning, perut dah memboncit sket..masa jumpa tu I knew he will have to go tapi macam mana I nak cakap 'mintak ampun, mintak halal makan dan minum'. Kesian bini dia and anak dia yg kecik2 tu (kembar)... I hope they'l get by..

Cakap pasal 'mintak ampun mintak halal makan minum' , with this fren, i thot nak tunggu raya..mmg ingat nak mintak maaf masa raya nanti..jadi tak la obvious sgt..tapi tak sempat. Masa jumpa dia 2 weeks ago, mulut tu ringan jugak nak cakap...but how to, mmg tak terkeluar dari mulut..

Other than time raya, mmg takde 'best time' to mintak maaf dah bila u jumpa kawan yg already in that situation..I dah banyak gak buat salah ngan orang...and I have no idea where they are now. When I was 21 or 22, somebody said to me ' U kejam macam binatang..takde hati perut'. All I did was to end a relationship ( a clean relationship, no sex involved ). It lingers on...sampai arini. Mana I nak carik dia..? Macam mana I nak mintak maaf..? There were a few more yg i kena mintak maaf...and I dont even know where they are.. Masa kat hostel dulu, ada sorang kawan lelaki..patah tangan dia masa main bola. Dia tak suka dan tak tahu main bola..tapi I paksa dia main, since dia tatau main, I suruh dia jadi goalkeeper..as a result, tangan dia patah and dia tak bercakap ngan I...I dah mintak maaf kat dia masa last day..tapi dia buat tatau jer..mana I nak carik dia..mungkin kalo jumpa pun i dah tak kenal dia..

So..arini ni, pada masa ni..I nak mintak maaf kat sini..to all my frens (mana la tau..kot2 dorang tersesat masuk space ker..). I'm so sorry. I was young then..very young. And to all my space/ym buddies...Pie, Leen, Liza Burung Antu, Farm, Anis, Dizz, Yan, Arielle, Liliot, Too Protective Malay Lady, Ly : I mintak maaf dari ujung rambut sampai ujung jari. [-o< (emote mintak ampun..)

All about nothing...

Talk about As, hutang asam pedas dah selesai. . Last Sat, for the first time since 'balik' Melaka, I pergi Jonker's Walk...best jugak. Rasa macam kat Petaling Street pun ada ( Chinatown ni..kat memana pun mcm sama jer kan..), tapi yg best kat sini ni, the ppl are more friendly..kat Petaling Street kalo u tawar menawar and tak beli...siap u. Kat sini - dorang baik sgt.

Five of us went there - Hassan, Mezah, Lyn, As and of cos yours truly. I pergi Hotel Puri...it's a WOW! tak percaya hotel mcm tu ade kat mesia. It's like u r in another place..way back in 1800s or early 1900s perhaps. The setting is unbelievable...and the whole place was like a Fiesta, there was dancing in the street and memacam lagi, susah nak citer.(this time I takmo citer As panjang2 dah..hehe)

Pagi tadi - dapat sms from Anis, asking me why i called her early in the morning..Huh??! I called dia??! Me..??Mesti anis silap ni kot. So i checked my phone - mmg ade nombor anis kat 'dialled calls' - time 6.15am. . Mcm mana boleh jadi camtu...tak ingat langsung I made tht call...aiiyaa I must be sleep phoning..issh! macam mana nak explain kat anis nih. Did I say something stupid, something crazy, something......luckily Anis tak angkat tipon..Phew!!! A huge Phew!!!

Now tengah cuba xnak tido, mlm ni ManU main ngan Benfica at 2.35am..mesti kena tgk. Bee..mana u.

Pie, U chelsea kan...bersiap sedia la utk menangis... I gotta go..nak cek kl1 jap.